Upset When Your Friend Uses Another Realtor? Here’s Why It’s For The Best

Picture of Jess Lenouvel Smiling on Camera | When Your Friend Uses Another Realtor | The Listings Lab

It’s happened to all of us at one point or another: a close friend or family member chooses another realtor instead of you.

It can feel like a punch to the gut.

But is it actually the disaster we think it is?

Friends and family choosing another agent is often the best route – for everybody involved. 

If you’re feeling betrayed, hurt, angry, or upset, I want you to read this post to understand why this actually shouldn’t be an issue.

And before I get into all of the reasons why not working with friends and family is actually a GOOD thing, we need to get one very important point out of the way.

Which is…

Your Friends & Family Don’t Owe You Their Business 

☝🏼Read that again. 

Your business is your responsibility.

Not your family’s. Not your friend’s.

The sooner you understand this golden rule, the sooner you can get out of victim mode and move forward.

Your friends or family members only care about finding the best agent for the job.

People don’t hire agents only because they like them or have a personal relationship with them.

They hire the agent who they trust can get them the results they desire. 

If you’ve been relying on referrals and word of mouth from friends and family, there’s a good chance you’re not investing in building your brand authority through online marketing. 

So rather than complaining that they went with someone else, ask yourself:

  • Am I demonstrating my expertise in my online content?
  • Am I sharing online in an effort to build up my like, know and trust factor?
  • Am I creating authority-building posts such as case studies, testimonials, and client stories?

It’s not enough that they like you in real life. They have to believe with 100% certainty you will be the best person for the job. 

READ MORE: Real Estate Referrals: Are They Really Enough To Grow Your Business?

They Probably Weren’t Your Ideal Client Anyway

Our most successful members in The Listings Lab are the ones who are super selective with their niche.

They go deep with one type of clientele, rather than wide.

If you’re willing to work with anyone who’s a friend or family member, you’re most likely not building up your expertise within the specific demographic you serve.

Think about it like this…

Say you decide that you want to niche down and serve up-sizers.

But your buddy who’s looking for his first home asks you to be his agent. You do the deal because you’re his friend and want the commission. 

Then, your friend refers you to two other people who are also looking to enter the market.

You think, “I might as well take the referrals!” 

All of a sudden, it’s been a couple of months and you’ve still made zero progress going after the upsizers. You don’t have any case studies or testimonials to showcase your experience with your target demographic. 

Chasing friends and family for work and relying on their referrals puts you into a cycle of reactivity.

Instead, be clear and intentional about who your ideal client avatar is, and work on your marketing so you’re the obvious choice for your demographic. 

It’s Harder To Uphold Boundaries

When I was selling real estate, if a friend or family member wanted to work with me, I never worked with them directly. Instead, I would tell them they could work with me, but one of my team members would be supporting them.

Here’s why 👇🏼

It’s much harder to uphold your boundaries and policies with friends and family.

You’ll be tempted to bend your rules or give them special treatment.

Your friend or family member might think they can get away with certain things because of their personal relationship with you.

For example, if I was working with my cousin, they would definitely think they could negotiate with me. But when they’re working with my team, on the other hand, they’ll accept our policies and rates as fact.

Additionally, friends or family may struggle to distinguish between their personal connection with you and your professional role as their real estate agent.

Which brings me to my next point…👇🏼

The Lines Between Friendship & Business Get Blurred

There’s nothing worse than it being a Friday night, you’re excited to meet friends for drinks and blow off some steam…

But then all of a sudden, they direct the conversation back to their house – that you’re selling.

When you work with friends and family, this is your reality.

It’s hard to have two separate spheres – your work sphere and personal sphere, when everything is intertwined.

This can make it incredibly difficult to shut off.

You might tell your friend to keep real estate communications to email to keep some separation…

But then they forget and text you at 10 pm on a Sunday about the deal.

And don’t forget, real estate transactions are complex and can involve tough negotiations and decisions. What happens when something goes wrong or your services don’tmeet your family member’s expectations?

Working with non-friends and family is so much simpler and cleaner.

So why not avoid an awkward encounter with Aunt Mildred because you didn’t sell her house for the price she was expecting?

Define your niche and create an automated lead generation machine that brings hundreds of clients your way, so you can stop relying on friends and family for business.

Stop Relying On Friends And Family As A Real Estate Agent 

As a real estate agent, it’s time to shift your focus away from the unreliable and often complex territory of relying on friends and family for business.

While it’s common to tap into your personal network when starting, this approach comes with its own set of challenges and limitations –  and it’s certainly not scalable.

Friends and family may expect special treatment or discounts, and mixing personal relationships with business can blur professional boundaries, leading to potential misunderstandings and strained relationships.

Instead, imagine a scenario where you’re not dependent on your inner circle for leads.

Imagine never having to rely on referrals, or feel crushed when a friend chooses another agent. 

You know you can generate leads on demand who are a perfect fit for your services.

You’re building authority in your niche and are quickly becoming the go-to agent for your target demographic.

This could be your reality if you join The Listings Lab. 

Our program focuses on empowering real estate agents with the most effective marketing strategies to grow and scale their businesses to multiple six or seven figures. You’ll learn how to use principles of attraction marketing and marketing psychology to build trust with your ideal clients before they even meet you. 

Our proven strategies have already helped countless agents break free from the limitations of relying on friends and family for business. You’ll discover how to become omnipresent in your market, relevant to your ideal clients, and build genuine intimacy that drives business growth.

Ready to get off the feast and famine cycle once and for all?

Apply here to book a call with our team and create your predictable lead generation system to secure hundreds of new listings. 

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